


Letting Go

by reddish



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Light Smut, Orgasm Denial, sex anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 16:17:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3417284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddish/pseuds/reddish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A glimpse into the beginnings of Iron Bull and Tasiran's sexual relationship, conquering some of the fears and hang-ups she has in the context of trust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

Tasiran’s vision is dark, no light at all peering through the blindfold carefully and securely fastened over her eyes. Bull’s hands are on her, caressing, squeezing, pressing, the scars and grooves of his rough hands magnified against her skin when she can’t see them.

He’s so textured.

A chuckle sounds from above her. “You have to relax. Let it be.”

She hadn’t realized her body was tense, but as soon as he points it out she works through each area of her muscles and commands them to be still. Soon, she is melted into his grasp and the bed, but her heart is still racing. That is a good thing, she decides.

Bull’s hand slides between her legs. "I’m going to kiss you now," he declares, a kind reminder that he is there and will move at her pace. "Okay?"

Her throat feels dry, but her thirst runs deeper. “Yes. Please.” But her parted lips and waiting tongue do not receive his. “Bull?”

She starts to ask, but the scruff of his beard grazes the skin of her thigh and suddenly his mouth is against her entirely, tongue swirling in the dance of his kiss. Sparks burst in the vision she doesn’t have, and she strains against the ropes purely on instinct, her thighs clenching hard around his head as he works. 

His quiet laugh only boosts the sensation of his mouth as he sucks at her clit and lips. She is panting. She is throbbing. This is already too muc—

Bull’s head disappears from her, and she nearly shouts in frustrated surprise.

His hands are on her wrists, and his legs are on either side of her. ”Don’t come yet.”

He is close — the scent of her is on his lips, mingled with his own, and she hungers. When she squirms, she feels his erection against her and it makes her whimper in need. “Why?”

"Because," one of his hands strays downward again and rubs her. "I’ll stop."

"But I—"

"Don’t."

"Please. I don’t know if I can stop it."

"Then we’ll stop," he says, a gentle firmness to his voice. He is simply stating facts. "Call katoh, come, and be done."

"We just started!" 

"Mmhmm." He slides his middle finger along her entrance, slowly pushing it in, while his thumb continues to stroke her clit. 

"How am I supposed to…?"

He lifts his other hand and squeezes an erect nipple between his thumb and forefinger. “You’re a smart girl. How do you think?”

Tasi’s back arches from the bed in response to his touch, all over her, drowning in it. “Self control?”

"Trust me, Tasiran. The result will be worth the wait."

"I do trust you. Crows," she gasps, fighting the urges and physical instinct that course through her. "I’ve just… never done this before."

His hands slow against her, and soon his lips are against her throat and his arms wrap around her middle as he holds her. As her breathing steadies, he lifts his head. “You have the power to make this stop.”

"I don’t want it to stop. I don’t want YOU to stop."

There is a pause of indeterminate length. Too long. "Tasi, I’m going to take the blindfold off you."

"No, I’m fine. Keep going."

He sighs. “Katoh.” 

"What?"

He undoes the cloth around her head and light pours in all too quickly. She is frustrated, and glares up at him in the time it takes her eyes to focus. The look on his face interrupts her glare and stops her cold. 

There is nothing but concern in his brow. "I meant what I said, when we talked about the watchword. No questions asked. No shame. No judgment. You’re going to feel overwhelmed sometimes. I need you to trust me."

"I  _do_ ,” she starts, but he holds up his hand.

"And I need to trust that you’ll use it."

Tasiran stills again. “Oh. I… didn’t think about it like that.”

He undoes her hands from the ropes that bind her, releasing her from the cuffs around her wrists. When she is free, he sits back and looks at her. “You forget that I am trained to read others. I _know_ fear. What were you afraid of? Just now?”

Tasiran draws herself up to a seated position and pulls a blanket over herself. She looks at a very interesting patch of carpet on the ground. “I… that I would fail.”

"And?"

"That you would stop."

"Those are the things I said would happen. So why the fear?"

She swallows a lump in her throat. “And that… _this_ would stop.”

From the corner of her vision, she sees him nod and lean forward. His hand is on her shoulder, and the other cups her chin. “Tasiran.”

She bites down on her lip and follows the soft pull that makes her look at him. Her eyes are misty and she rolls them with a disgusted sigh. “This is stupid. I don’t ever act like this. Shit, I’m sorry.”

A small tug at the corner of his lip. “This is meant to be enjoyable for both of us.”

"And I am failing at doing what you need me to do," she sighs.

"You just can’t get out of your head," he says. "You have to let me in there. Let me pull your strings."

"And if I can’t?"

"You can," he says with a shrug.

"But you’ll leave. If I can’t. Right? That’s the bottom line here. This ends if I can’t do this."

"Do you think I’m going to pack me and my boys up and leave for good if you say katoh?"

Tasi rolls her eyes but refuses to make eye contact with him. “No. Just… you won’t be here. I like… this. I like  _you_. Fucking… ugh.”

Bull laughs. “That’s what this is about?”

"Hey, fuck you laughing at me."

"I’m not… Tasiran, listen. This control thing you have? The thing that makes it hard for you to be here, to let me do what I want to do for you. This is that thing. You have to just… stop trying to plan it all out."

"Says the guy who plays chess in his head with Solas."

"Is that what we’re doing? Here I thought we were fucking."

Tasi glares at him. “They’re kind of the same thing for me.”

"…either you have a kink we need to discuss, or you  _really_ need to lay down and let me show you how good this can all be.”

"I’m serious. For me, this... this act is always power and gambits and feints and… I’ve never ‘given myself’ over to anyone. I’ve never felt that safe. But I was trying, because I wanted this. And I’ll do… damn near anything to get what I want."

Bull smirks. “Tell me exactly what you want, Tasiran.”

Her cheeks suddenly darken. “I. Uh. I want you. I want you to fuck me, I want to come with you. Shit, I want you to stay the night. I want to talk with you and hunt with you and… be with you. And that's all too damn much to expect, especially since I can't even--"

He cuts her off. "And you think, what? I want to tie you up and spank you and forget all about it? Take it or leave it, if you say katoh it’s done?"

"…is that not the case?"

"Vashedan," he swears before laughing. "You could just ask."

"Oh. Sure. That would be all reasonable, wouldn’t it?" Tasi groans and buries her head in a pillow. 

"I’m here, and a guy like me doesn’t go where I don’t want to be. I’ve had lots of sex, but you’re one of the only people I’ve tried to ignore and failed."

She lifts her head from the pillow, one eyebrow raised. “…thanks?” 

"Parshaara, I  _mean_ that I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t interested in trying whatever it is you want with me, just like you’re interested in trying what I want with you.  _Because I like you._ ”

"Oh."

"Fuck, I’m exhausted already. Is this shit going on in your head all the time?"

Tasiran shrugs. “Basically.” 

"Okay." Bull stands and glances around the room until he finds pants. "I’m going to find us some food. And then we’re going to try again. Because you fucking need it."

Tasi throws her pillow at him, and it bounces off one of his horns as he buckles his belt. He catches it and shakes his head.

"You’re going to pay for that."

* * *

Later, long after the moon rose and Skyhold is silent, Tasiran’s legs are draped over the Iron Bull’s as she nestles into the contours of his large frame, finding a place to rest her cheek where her horns don't hurt either of them. 

Her ass stings like hell, but it's a pleasant throbbing that makes her blush all over again to recall.

Maybe there is a peace in letting go, after all.


End file.
